Dream big...live bigger.

I've been thinking a lot lately. ...like, a LOT. (Seems to be that's when these blogs come about anyway. At least I'm consistent? Ha.)

See, as a kid, life's pretty much planned out for you from the time you start kindergarten. You go through elementary school, survive junior high, and think you're all that in high school before most of us ever really have to make a decision that will impact what we become in life. (Yes, there are all kinds of decisions that reflect our level of character and responsibility, but that's not what I'm getting at.)

Then, upon high school graduation, we are faced with our first real "grown up"-ish decision: college or the real world?

If you, like me, chose college, then the next four years are still essentially decided for you. It's after college that the real decisions start, and therefore, the real thinking.

"What do I want to be when I grow up?" becomes a very real - and potentially frightening - question when that time is now and you still don't really know. Some people are fortunate enough to walk right into a job. Some, like myself, aren't so...blessed. And in the midst of all the questions surrounding what I'm going to do with my life, I find myself kind of scared. Yep, you read that right - when I should be hopeful and excited about what comes next, I'm terrified.

If you're thinking something's wrong with that picture, you're absolutely right. It just wasn't till today that I figured out what.

You see, I'm a dreamer. Always have been. Likely always will be. But although it doesn't even begin to seem possible, there's also this nasty little realist inside my head that likes to jump out and say, "Yeah. Like THAT'S ever gonna happen! You can't do that." It's a battle I don't wish on anyone!

So as I picture my future, I have big dreams. Huge dreams, really. Dreams that will take hard work, determination, skill, and some extra special blessings. Still, I believe they're possible. And I want to make them come true...more than I can even express in words (which, if you haven't figured out, is a pretty big deal. There's very little I can't put into words!).

The trouble is, that mean little realist keeps chiming in by pointing out all the people in my life, ever since I was a little girl, whose lives have turned around, up, down, and inside out, ending up a million miles away from the place they always dreamed.

"Life's too unpredictable for big dreams," that pesky little voice keeps telling me.

Yet we hear people all the time say something is "a dream come true." So SOME dreams can come true. Even some bizarre ones like mine.

See my dilemma? Do I shoot for the stars and risk falling to pieces if life takes me everywhere BUT where I want to be? Is happiness an anomaly that is really this hard to come by?

Here's what I've discovered: it's not about where you're going, it's about where you are. Sound Confucius-like? (Or maybe just confusing...) Let me explain, first with a little story about one of my heroes.

Michelle Kwan is a champion figure skater whose entire life revolved around this crazy dream she had. She wanted to be an Olympic champion. She worked from the time she was a tiny little thing out on the cold rink to become an athlete worthy of Olympic honor, a champion standing atop the medal stand, representing her nation, her family, and her own hard work.

Michelle Kwan won championship after championship - 9 National titles, 5 World titles and countless more in between.

She qualified for four Olympic games.

The first, she was bumped to being an alternate.

The second, she was favored world-wide for gold. She left with Silver.

In 2002, she was again expected to deliver, especially at a Games in home country. Yet, she left Salt Lake City with a bronze.

Four years later, she made the team after a serious injury, and while only a select few ever saw the competitive programs planned for that year, rumor has it, she had the good for gold once again. The first practice in Torino, she was injured and forced to withdraw.

She didn't skate again on Olympic ice.

Why am I telling this story? Because today I saw Michelle Kwan skate in front of a crowd for only the second time since the end of that final Olympic season.

Now, she is a college graduate.

She's an American Public Diplomacy Envoy, appointed by the president.

She's a grad-school student.

And more importantly that all of that, she is happy.

Her face radiated joy as she skated in the show this morning. She is not an Olympic champion. That dream way back when that kept her working and working long enough to equal two or three normal careers? Never came true.

Yet, she's happy.

See, it's not about giving up on dreaming. Oh no. It's all about dreaming big. The bigger the better, in my opinion.

If you're inspired to do something, go for it. Write it down. Look at it. Remember it. Michelle had a poster of the Olympic rings. I have a list in a journal. Make dreaming a part of your life, because it will push you to heights far greater than you could ever imagine.

And yet, as big as you dream, live bigger.

Live in the moment. Take it all in.

Enjoy every second in the good times, search for meaning in the bad times.

When life gets tough, look around you. Just maybe, you will discover that people love you more than you'd ever known before. Maybe you will find a new friend who needs to cry with you, then heal with you, too.

And when you're feeling like your dream will never come true, look back at what has already happened. It may not be the exact dream that pushed you this far, but look how far you've come for dreaming it.

I will always have big dreams. And sure, if they don't come true, I might be disappointed. But even if nothing in life goes how I have it planned, I hope I can, like Michelle Kwan, find new dreams along the way and eventually be able to look back and be proud of all I've accomplished as well as how I've handled the broken dreams along the way.

And since I seem to always bring things back to music in some way, I end with this from Rascal Flatts:

"I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
and each road takes you where you want to go.
And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walking 'till you find the window..."